CARMAGEDDON II: CARPOCALYPSE NOW
There's nothing like running over fat dogs and crushing mental patients
against the wall with their own beds. Keith Pullin does all that and more,
as he too, goes quickly round the bend
PCZ #69, 95%
Most of Carmageddon II is fairly straightforward really; learn the tracks
and kill inordinate amounts of innocent civilians. However, it's not all
foot to the floor and blood streaks on the door. The missions can cause problems,
and it's those stages we're concentrating on mainly here. So, belt up, and get a
MISSION BY MISSION WALKTHROUGH
The first three races before the mission act as a warm-up. The other cars
are lightweight, and pedestrians and animals are abundant. Explore, get used to
the car and remember: the more peds dead, the more time you get. Try and visit the
bank; crashing into the vault rewards you with some top quality gear. If you fancy
practising some high-speed manoeuvres, slip onto Beaver City's ample orbital.
Rocky Too is a sprawling level with masses of tricks to try. Extra Power
allows you to push massive rocks onto other cars, and the Wall Climber makes your
tyres stick to any surface - ceilings and all.
It won't take long to reach the Boulder Dash mission, and when you do - just
take it easy.
Tumbling over edges doesn't help time-wise, so just get round those bends.
Try and aim for under a minute per lap. Oh, and you get no extra time for killing on
missions. So don't bother - it's cruel and pointless.
At first it seems that the antennae are impossible to reach. That's utter
rubbish, of course.
Pick the Eagle Mk III (that's if you've accumulated enough credits to
actually have a choice) and just follow the ramps - generally speaking they point
in the right direction. Most jumps require a take-off speed of around 80mph. Hit
the right rhythm, and bounce >from one rooftop to the next like a rubber ball.
This mission teaches you a very important skill, and that's the ability to
control your jumping so you can land in very enclosed areas. As the game progresses,
you will find, of all the skills, this is by far the most important.
The 'Home Sweet Groan' race takes place in Max's junk yard. In the middle of
the stage is his home, and it's around here that you'll find plenty of contraptions
to deliver swift death to your adversaries. Have fun, see who can be lured into Max's
lair, and then nail 'em!
The race in the quarry can be precarious as it's sometimes hard to find
peds, and the other contestants bash you around quite badly. Try and make the most of
the ample time bonuses, and power-ups lurking behind or on crates and boxes. Usually
they're not too far from the actual circuit, so a small diversion is often worth your
while. On the mission stage, loonies from a local mental home are on the loose.
There are 22 patients in all, and you have to squish all of them. It's probably best
to go for the larger groups first, and then pick up the stragglers later. We've marked
their exact locations on the map, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. As for those
irritating mentalists on the roof, just bounce up to them with Kangaroo power-ups, or
There are quite a few handy power-ups near the start to help you on this
mission, but by far the best antidote to this little predicament is the Solid Granite
Car. It should be lurking just outside the glass-fronted building near the start point.
When you've got it, head straight for the truck which should by now be charging at high
speed directly for you. Go for the head-on collision, and you should seriously
hurt him. He'll probably head off into the junk yard after that, so follow him, grab as
many useful power-ups as you can, and keep twatting the life out of him.
It's advisable to go for a vehicle other than the Eagle Mk III for all of this. The heavier
the car, the more damage you inflict on your opponent. As long as you keep up a fairly
relentless assault, the time limit shouldn't be a problem.
The 'In Cold Blood' mission is a toughie. The snow makes you slide all over the place, the
track is hard to see, and most of the race takes place on the side of a mountain, meaning
that most of the race is spent on a 90-degree angle. Well, you're halfway through the game
now, so what do you expect? The best advice, as for most of the missions, is to just take it
easy. Keep your speed at around a hundred miles an hour - any faster and you're a dead man.
Always keep a beady eye on your mini map, making sure you never stray too far from the
circuit, and avoid getting any big air. When it comes to the ski jump, try and hit the ramp
at about 50mph: the car should stay level thus averting any nasty Eddie the Eagle-type
landings. Stay out of the way of the many quarter pipes too, as they can
really slow you down.
The real trick to this stage is finding the shortcuts. The many hairpin turns give you ample
opportunity, and if you look carefully you can see narrow passageways and crevices that your
car can easily slip into. In terms of vehicles to use, go for something small and
manoeuvrable, or maybe one of the large-wheeled machines on offer - at least then you can
obtain some grip on the slippery surface.
The 'Runway Runaway' race can be full of surprises, especially if you head into the airport
terminal. If you drive up the stairs there are some duty free shops, and on the roofs of those
there are some power and armour bonuses. This group of races concludes with an excellent
mission - it's pretty easy too.
First of all, select a fast, agile car (something like the Eagle perhaps?) and simply belt around
the fairground at top speed killing everything in sight. A lot of the clowns can only be reached
through well-timed jumps: for example, the two on top of the tower in the middle of the
fairground can actually be decapitated if you hit the take-off ramp at the right speed (around
100mph). Watch out though, some of the clowns don't die at the first attempt. They
may be fat, but they're often quite nimble and sometimes glance off a bumper attempting to
escape. Make sure you go back and finish them off, and only leave the scene of an
'accident' when dismemberment takes place.
There are only four air traffic controllers to kill on the 'Control Freak' mission, but look
where they are - right at the top of the tower. It takes some practice, but it seems the only
real way to reach these well-guarded enemies is to use the airport 'props' as ramps to jump up
to the tower. If you're very lucky you can smash straight through the glass.
However, another method is to find a Slaughter Mortar and fire into the control tower to kill
them. Alternatively, grab one of those tail things and see if you can smash the windows with
that. Of all the levels this one seems to be down to luck rather than judgement but, as
always, if you improvise, you can't really fail. The time limit is the real enemy here, so don't
hang about when you first start.
Solid Granite Car power-ups are strewn all over the USS Lewinsky. Use these to make short
work of the gun turrets; any that are left over can be demolished by picking up the mutant
tail thingy near the start. When the turrets on the top deck have been destroyed,
head below deck as quickly as possible. There are more turrets here - wipe these out
using the same technique. And surprise, surprise - the core of the ship can be despatched
in the same way.
When you've done all that head up to the top deck and kill the admiral. A medium-sized,
tough car is needed for this stage because you're often caught up in explosions; anything
small and defenceless will be annihilated in these situations, so make the right choice.
This is the first time you face opponents on a mission stage and they don't mess about.
Their vehicles are massive and they know how to use them. Being rammed into one of the many
cliff faces is a common occurrence here; so make sure you keep moving constantly. You can
combat their tactics by selecting a fairly large car yourself; the only trouble is you have
to decide how much speed you're willing to sacrifice, as the time limit is again tight.
To destroy the oil wells, slowly drive into the nearby black boxes. The wells can be levelled
in any order, but it's probably best to go for the ones in wide open areas first - wait until
the field has thinned out a bit before heading off into the frantic zones.
The second race is superb. In true Blues Brothers spirit choose a fast car and set about
confusing those feds. Try and get two or three to chase you around, pick up a Kangaroo
power-up (or something of the that ilk) and then go flat out towards a brick wall and jump
at the last moment. Any police chasing you crash into the wall and die. This hectic city
stage is bursting with similar cunning tricks so don't be afraid to take let
your despicable mind run riot.
After the fun comes the horror - the final stage. This is probably the only really linear
level in the entire game - and to be frank, it's a bit of a shock to find. Prepare
for this stage by picking the fastest car available; after that the key to this stage is
opening the blast doors.
Basically, any canisters you see knocking around must be destroyed; blowing them up opens
various blast doors around the silo. The first few are obvious; they encircle some kind of
dome. But after that, they're not so easy to find, especially with the cruel time limit
imposed. But follow the route, destroy everything you see and it all becomes apparent.
All you need is speed and a good memory; master that combination and you complete the game.
Well done. All you have to do now is wait for Carmageddon III.
Still can't do it? Luckily we have here a complete list of every single
wacky cheat the game
has to offer. If you can't cut it with these activated, you really haven't
got a hope
LAPMYLOVEPUMP Cheats enabled
IWISHICOULDFLYRIGHTUPTOTHESKY Fly mode
SMARTBASTARD Complete the race
GLUGGLUG Mega bonus
STICKITS Peds glued to the ground
MEGABUM Giant peds
TWATOFF Explosive peds
CLINTONCO Hot rod
FASTBAST Turbo peds
TINGTING Free repairs
MINGMING Instant repairs
STOPSNATCH Timer frozen/time thaw
WATERSPORT 1 underwater ability
TIMMYTITTY Time bonus
CLANGCLANG Bodywork trashed
BLUEBALLZ Frozen opponents
BLUEPIGS Frozen cops
SWIFTYSHIFTY Turbo opponents
PIGSMIGHTFLY Turbo cops
MOONINGMINNIE Lunar gravity
TILTY Pinball mode
STICKYTYRES Wall climber
JIGAJIG Bouncy mode
MRWOBBLEY Jelly mode
DOTACTION View peds on map
FRYINGTONIGHT Ped electro ray
WOTATWATAMI Greased tyres
STUFFITUP Damage magnifier
EYEPOPPER Instant handbrake
ANGELMOLESTERS Immortal peds
LEMMINGIZE Stupid peds
TAKEMETAKEME Suicidal peds
PILLPOP 5 recovery vouchers
BIGTWAT Solid granite car
DUFFRIDE Rock springs
RUBBERUP Gripomatic tyres
GOODHEAD Peds with stupid heads
STIFFSPASMS Mutant corpses
LEDSLEDS Gravity from Jupiter
EASYPEASY Slow-motion peds
TINYTOSS Mini peds
FURKINELL Turbo bastard nutter nitros
DIDEDODI Mine shitting ability
LIQUIDLUNGE Oil slick from your arse
SKIPPYPOOS Kangaroo on command
ZAZAZ Ped annihilator
POWPOW Opponent repulsificator
XRAYSPECS Ethereal peds
GETDOWN Groovin' peds
MRMAINWARING Ped panic attack
FARTSUITS Helium peds
LARGEONE Pissed peds
HIPPOTART Fat bastard peds
BLOODYARTISTS Stick insects
COWCOW Ped repulsificator
OSOSTRONG Extra armour
OSOFAST Extra power
OSONASTY Extra offensive
OSOVERSATILE Extra everything
OSOSTRONGSOSTRONG Double extra armour
OSOFASTSOFAST Double extra power
OSONASTYSONASTY Double extra offensive
OSOVERSATILESOVERSATILE Double extra everything
STRINGVEST Max armour
VASTNESSES Max power
FISTNESSES Max offensive
SKEGNESSES Max everything
THATSALOTOFARMOUR Extra armour slot
THATSALOTOFPOWER Extra power slot
THATSALOTOFOFFAL Extra offensive slot
THATSALOTOFSLOTS Extra slots all round
STRONGBONES Bonus armour slots
FASTBONES Bonus power slots
NASTYBONES Bonus offensive slots
LOADSABONES Bonus slots all round
EVENINGOCCIFER Drink driving
FRYFRY Ped flame thrower
INEEDAPILL Ped Valium
OYPOWERUPNO Power-up cancel
BIGDANGLE Mutant tail thing
BONBON Slaughter mortar
GOTOINFRARED Cloaking device
Most of the time they seem to just leap into your path, but at other times
you can't kill pedestrians for toffee. Here's how to make the most of your
A giant spring that fires out of the car, launching any unsuspecting
pedestrians into the air and far, far away.
Same as the pedestrian repulsificator, but it affects cars too. Can be a
real lifesaver on the last few races (and on network games).
A ball of fire bellows out from your car and torches any surrounding
pedestrians. Great for killing mental patients and clowns.
Spiked ball and chain
Take out a dozen pedestrians at any one time with this huge 'ball and
chain'. It's also very effective on other vehicles.
Pedestrian electro-bastard ray
If you find a suicidal pedestrian power-up and one of these, you're in for
one hell of a time.
Similar to the pedestrian electro-bastard ray but available through the
power-up inventory. Fry until you can fry no more.